Science, spirituality and energy are the corner stones of what enabled me to change my beliefs about myself and my cluster headache. This is the first post of 3 in total, which I hope will provide you with enough tools to do that yourselves.
Disclaimer; I am in no way a healthcare professional. Everything I discuss here is based on my personal experience. What I describe are my personal experiences and opinions. What you do with the information on this site is entirely up to you. Things that have worked for me might not work for you, as everyone is different. I would always advise you to keep in contact with your healthcare professionals and be honest with them if and when you decide to try some of the things that I have done.
Changing your beliefs
Having cluster headache can rule your life. Every decision is based on the cluster headache, and it dictates what you dare and are willing to do. It is very well possible that you believe that there is no way out. I get that, I have been there. My doctor told me it is a chronic affliction and there is no cure. So for a very long time I believed that I just had to deal with it best I could.
Knowledge
Knowledge is power. With knowledge, I was able to change those beliefs. Start to change your beliefs about yourself and your cluster headache, and you will start manifesting a life in which they have no dominion over you. You have the power to do so, when you chose to.
Nikola Tesla, the 19th century inventor to whom we thank most of our modern day technology, said; “If you want to know the secrets of the universe, think in terms of frequency vibration and energy”. We as humans are also energy, our body’s, thoughts and emotions are forms of energy. And we all have our own vibrational frequency.
You can learn about Nikola Tesla and his inventions and knowledge here
Think about it, we all have had the experience that we meet someone, and they give us a “bad” or a “good” vibe. We therefore like or dislike them, even before actually knowing them. That’s energy someone is putting out that we pick up on and we either can or can’t work with.
SCIENCE, spirituality and energy
Science tells us that everything is energy, has a vibration and a frequency. The law of conservation of energy states that energy can never be created, or lost. It can only change form. Food is a good example of this. The food is digested, broken down, and it’s nutrition and energy is sent to different parts of your body that use it to regenerate cells. You literally become what you eat. The energy that is the food is not lost, it becomes something different; the consumer.
The strange thing is that we are born into these body’s and once we learn how to walk, talk and do basic functions, we stop learning. It’s like getting a highly advanced computer and only knowing how to send a e-mail with it. Medical science is very advanced these days, they know a lot about the body and which parts of the brain are responsible for different functions. Yet no one can answer the question of where our consciousness resides inside our body’s. But it’s a fact that we, with our minds, control the body. From that perspective, we should be able to heal it.
We are electrical beings. Every cell in our body has a 0,7 millivolt electrical charge. Multiplied with 35 billion cells, that’s 2.65 trillion volts of electricity inside each human. That means that you are a walking nuclear explosion. Chi gong and Reiki healing tap into this electrical energy. We can learn how to harness and direct that energy, and with that knowledge we have the power to heal ourselves.
Taking responsibility
Now I myself am not there yet, but it is my intention to get there through study and practice. So I will keep educating myself and trying different things to see if they work. I’m going on a limb here, and please keep in mind that I do not mean to offend; It is my belief that diseases like cluster headache are partly a result of our own doing. A harsh truth, but once excepted very liberating.
Let me try to explain; A virus is an external organism that enters the body, manifests and makes you sick. But clusters, arthritis etc. are things that manifest out of seemingly nowhere. I’m not saying you or I actively chose this disease, but I do think we have to take responsibility for it. It’s our own body that’s malfunctioning, and we control our body’s.
Maybe, without knowing, we are treating our body badly. Bad posture, laziness, bad foods, mental weakness, it could be all sorts of things. Most of the time it’s a combination of multiple aspects that eventually manifest in one way or another. So a holistic approach is needed. At least that was/is the case in my life and my cluster headache. There were multiple things that greatly influenced my cluster headache and made them manifest. I’ll go into them all.
We do not need to take responsibility for having cluster headache, but we can take responsibility for how we live our lives with cluster headache.
Science, SPIRITUALITY, and energy
3 years ago, I knew I needed to drastically change if I wanted to survive. One of the things I actively started to do was meditate. Through meditation, I became spiritual and gained insights that I would otherwise never have had. In fact, it has been so beneficial to me that I believe everyone, CusterViking or not, will have benefit from meditation and spirituality. That’s why I will dedicate a separate section of this site to spirituality.
In one of my meditations, I came in touch with what I can only describe as my own immortality. Something that I never ever before experienced and wasn’t sure that I was. I can imagine this can be difficult to believe if you never had a similar experience, or the belief by faith. Let me try to explain; As consciousness is a real thing in this world, it must be a form of energy.
People have outer body experiences all the time, meaning that our consciousness is separated to, or can be separated from our body. As the law of conservation states that energy can’t be lost, that would mean that our consciousness is eternal. Or at least in some form. Quite similar to our definition of a soul.
Knowing this combined with my deep meditative experience made that I came to the conviction that I’m an eternal being having a human experience. Once this experience is done, and I go back to the “other side”, and there I will choose another experience to reincarnate into.
Maybe soul choose a path for me to follow in this life, and I am not, or was not following it. My soul needed to steer me in the right direction, but I was not picking up on the signals. That might have forced my soul to manifest cluster headache in the hopes that I would hear its call. I don’t know what is true, but I do believe it comes partly from within me. And by taking responsibility for how I live my life now that cluster headache has manifested, I am convinced that I can help myself.
Chakra’s
Meditation also made me search for information about spirituality. One of the things I learned was about chakra’s. These are energy centers that reside inside our body’s. We have 144 in total, with 7 main ones. Each chakra has a vibration and frequency, and it can be open or closed. Meaning, it will let energy flow or block it.
It’s commonly accepted that when one or more are closed, they will manifest bad things in your life. Like disease, pain, bad situations, all kinds of things. They work like a 2 way street with your actions. When you do things that are bad for you, they will have a bad influence on your chakra’s or energy system and vice versa.
These chakras create a magnetic field around our body’s, better known as aura. This field interacts with the world around us, and protects us from certain things. During cluster headache attacks, I noticed (already way before knowing anything about chakra’s) that something outside my body was happening. It’s like on the side of the cluster there is a void, a gap, or a cold. I now believe that it’s the magnetic field that drops on that side.
Science, spirituality and ENERGY
Where attention go’s, energy flows
Indian proverb: Every one has two wolves inside them. One white and good, the other black and evil. They are in constant conflict and battle with each other. The one you feed the most, wins.
In the ClusterViking post, I wrote that I have gone from an insecure man to a confident one in the past years. To be honest, I have been insecure ever since I was about 13 or 14 years old. I always have been a sensitive person. Sensitive to other people’s feelings, weather changes, everything. They would always affect me. As I was not proactive but reactive, they influenced my life greatly.
My birthday is in the midst of summer. My parents had a choice; send met to school when I was just barely 4 years old, or when I was already almost 5. They chose the first, this resulted in me always being the youngest in my classes. It wasn’t a bad decision, but it was one of the things that made things a bit more difficult for me. Combined with being sensitive and a late bloomer, I had some difficulty fitting in.
This became more evident once I went to high school. As puberty hit and insecurity about almost anything was skyrocketing, my sexuality came into play. Where at first I was fantasizing about girls, and falling in love with some, in time boys also started to enter my mind. I didn’t know how to handle that. My parents have always been very open-minded and supportive, so for them this was never a problem. But I felt that my friends might not approve.
So I hid my feelings for several years. Always acting and portraying myself as a straight male. It’s ridiculous looking back now, but I truly felt like I was not good enough. This also had a physical effect. I would make myself smaller and turn my shoulders in, hunch over and try and not be seen by others.
Be warey where you put your attention on. It will grow.
My inner dialog (you know, the conversation you have inside your head with yourself) became very negative. Always saying that I didn’t know this or that, that I wasn’t sure, that I wasn’t good enough, that I better leave things to others because they would be better at it than me. I didn’t voice my real opinion to most people, and just said what I thought they wanted to hear, so they would like me. Knowing what I know now, this meant that I was effectively closing my throat chakra. The exact place where my clusters manifested some years later.
I honestly believe that denying my true feelings, not voicing my opinion, bad posture, a wrong diet, negative self talk, lack of exercise, procrastination and general laziness has all played a mayor part in me developing cluster headache, because I kept feeding it energy. And thus it manifested itself. First in separate small things, and eventually in cluster headache. In the next post about maintaining your self-worth I’ll go deeper in to changing your beliefs.